When someone talks to you about his or her problems, emotionally or anything, the worst respond is to give advises. To tell someone, how to live life, how to handle a specific problem and how to feel. Pretty much, parenting. It takes all the space – it makes the person feel lonely and wrong. It tells you, that you are not allowed to feel this way. The space to breath is gone and opening up gets harder and harder. This leads to suppression and self-doubt. You start to ignore and develop your emotions. You get stuck and if you keep ignoring them you will lose track of yourself.
Not before we learn to accept our emotions we are able to develop. If we skip this part, we have learned nothing. We need to realize that our personality is way broader as we think it is. We are everything – we are born with every brutal character. Sometimes a part of it comes up, which we are not aware of yet. That is confusing, scary and we do not know how to handle it – yet. Accepting them doesn’t mean to encourage this feelings/personalities, it only means that we decided whereas we want it to grow or not. To tell someone “what to do” implies the other knows you better then you do. This is not the case. Instead of trying to improve each other, its better to give each other space to feel. To truly see the person as they are. And to tell them, they are not alone. To wish them the inner strength to master this task. Even though you think you know it better – maybe you do, but in the end you are not helping with cracking the riddle for them.